This week Sol Campbell walked out on Notts County after just one month and one match. You always had to question the sanity of a man who swapped Spurs for bitter rivals Arsenal, walked out at half-time during a match whilst with the Gunners, and then decided to join a League Two side when Premiership teams were still chasing his signature. However nobody could predict it all going wrong quite this soon.
His decision appears to have come out of the blue after a defeat at Morecambe with reasons mentioned such as the state of the Notts County facilities. You can’t help but laugh at somebody who signed a five year contract only to throw his toys out after one defeat. He saw the stadium and facilities before he signed the contract so what exactly was he expecting? A new training facility built within weeks? Maybe he would have liked a shiny new stadium from thin air rather than the existing Meadow Lane, which incidently is already one of the best grounds at this level. Could it be that he just struggled to squeeze his ego into the small changing rooms?
What is more likely is he was kidding himself it would all go smoothly, but losing at unfashionable Morecambe has hit him like a wet fish. Losing to a goal from a 35-year-old former Unibond league player is probably not what he had in mind. County now find themselves eight points off the top and maybe Sol just can’t find enough strength of character to bother trying to turn it around. Sven is quoted as being ‘disappointed’ which is about as irate as the characterless Swede can manage without giving himself a hard-on. Slightly stronger feelings are bound to be held by the fans, especially those with custom-printed shirts. Anybody with Campbell on their back must be feeling a prick now.
I’m sure everybody knows that last weekend was Manchester derby weekend. It seems that any match involving City these days is staged with the sole purpose of giving Mark Hughes the platform to make a tit of himself. Failing to condemn Adebayor for either his stamp on van Persie’s head or his 90-yard sprint to taunt the Gunners’ fans the previous week, he has again been providing more comedy. Not content with talking about Gary Neville’s “lunatic” celebrations (presumably Adebayor’s celebration was muted in Hughes’ eyes), he also found time to talk about his 2-goal striker.
If ever there were to be an award for odious sportsmen, Craig Bellamy would be in the running. This week he decided to slap a fan who had invaded the pitch, despite the fact he’d already been restrained. According to Hughes, angelic Craig was just going to “tell the guy to get off the pitch” but was forced to “just put a defensive hand out to push him away”. This is completely plausible, I mean, the guy could easily have broken free of his two captors and struck angelic Craig, who has never assaulted a team-mate with a golf club, or punched a woman in a nightclub, or had a brawl in a casino. Hughes is rumoured to be in the running for the position of Gordon Brown’s next spin doctor.
Next on our radar is the slack-jawed phlegm-sharing El Hadji Diouf. In Blackburn’s defeat to Everton, one of the ball-boys was less than helpful in giving the ball back to Diouf for a throw-in. The Senegalese international remonstrated with the young lad, apparently using the charming phrase “fuck off white boy”. He now finds himself under investigation for making a racist comment, but has attempted to justify himself with a laughable accusation that he had bananas thrown at him. No bananas were found at the scene but this could be misleading as Sam Allardyce may already have eaten them all.
In other news, Dirk Kuyt has leapt to Glen Johnson’s defence, saying “he was a big signing for us but he has shown straight from the start that he is very important”. It would be nice if Glen occasionally leapt to England’s defence when he pulls on a white shirt. Kuyt is presumably just delighted to finally have somebody worse than him in the side.
Saving the best for last, Crawley manager Steve Evans has been slapped with a 13 match ban after being a naughty little tyke during his side’s match with Salisbury last season. He already had a suspended ten-game touchline ban hanging over him which has been activated by his latest misdemeanour, so the convicted criminal and cheat won’t even be allowed to attend three matches before being confined to the stand for the rest. Presumably clubs will have to clear a section of the ground for him as no fan will want to sit near a figure of such moral vacancy. Maybe he’ll use the time to reflect on his actions but we doubt it – hopefully one day he will be banned from football for good and give the Daggers’ fans he robbed something else to laugh at.
